Pyro

Pyro

When lightning scolded June

For being so

god

damned

dry. I heard

The farmers finally slept

like rocks.

[But I]

I talked back,

Little halfwit brat.

Tossed rockets

Sizzling like a schoolyard tease

Puffs smearing like suburban chalk

And crumbling junebugs

under heavy shower.

That backwash brag joined fleets

Of croaking toads

And the echoes rinsing oaks

of homeless crows

leaving advice:

[frill your nose]

huff these three brothers

and a lighter

Vietnam crouching in one half acre

chewing their wild onion

wet socks and foxholes.

One cocked coke bottle

trapped fumes like milk,

And [shit],

We were parched

We were waiting

We were

suddenly 500 firecrackers

tapping neighbors awake

kicking communists out of bed-

I had blisters,

[Fuck!]

Blisters I fed,

Blisters worth every dime store jolt

worth every change jar star

reminiscing

while the clouds

babysat for Summer.

I can’t tell you

what drew me to salesmen,

To one particularly honest

Wool beard of a bootlegger

And a Nolanville Firework hut

Where the view was choked

by dusty cedars

And knitted with the conversation of an RV engine,

But I prodded cupboards to ask,

[Moved the deep-fat fryer]

Interviewed my shrinking stockpile

Saying the same old shit

Through wrappers and expired sparklers:

I started resupplying

on spokes,

twelve years old-

I may have grown

nine for the price of one,

Because twelve turned to twenty

And eight years later

I’m too deep in city limits

tucked outside of seasonal sales

To stop and smell the sulfur.

I left our [lawless]

ant covered Los Alamos

To speak,

strike-anywhere-tongue-

Flirting with you like air does

with fuses

retreating

retreating,

because it costs two hands

to be a careless arsonist.

I tried quitting the sun cold-turkey,

shot you once [hypodermic]

Into damp overcast,

clung to your ghost smoke

Until you were cardboard on a stranger’s lawn

Stayed up till 5:00 am

And squeezed each couch for quarters

Drop by drop

Until the last day they could sell-

[Damn]

The taste of ‘Last Day’:

last days of sewage drains getting wasted on the water cycle

last days of bottlecap races

and hearing your name.

I propped you skyward

[scientist]

Observed your strontium sadness

eat itself 300 feet up-

It never made sense

to the dogs or cats-

Sent them scattering just like

black powder

over my backyard,

[But I ]

I unflinching and deaf

I stared wolf-eyed

Until the final crack-

Saw myself on Iwo Jima

Doing split second sinister

Doing madness

Making lovely war.

Admitting from beneath

I could never admire nature

Until I heard it shatter.


All Rights Reserved Christian Taylor 2014

Love You Anyway

It’s 1:45 in the morning the rains Pitter patter wakes me from our world. Clock cadence rewind to our favorite yesterday. Those deep sea blues, stardust embraces, the creation of everything. Did you always know that in my own way since that first day I knew no matter what I’d love you anyway?

Your fearlessness and that zest for life it was infectious. Your charm took hold before I knew anything was going on. Thinking back on all that happened you must’ve known but didn’t say. Instead we just lived for the moment wishing time would stand still for awhile more.

Then came last fall and the realization that we’d been putting off for years. Pacing back and fourth reading that letter. Yes I know where you are and now I know that you’ve always known that I’ll love you anyway.

Copyright © 2020 SJ Falling Rock
All Rights Reserved

Heading “HOME”

These four walls and picture windows with nothing but land for miles around. The neighbors down the road smiled while sharing their memories of dad. A cup of coffee with light-heated conversations always willing to work on that old clunker of a car. I still chuckle while looking at those old tires he put down to cover up those gopher holes in the side yard.

Three years since I last heard his voice or had of one those big fatherly hugs. Three years since the life I knew disappeared behind his closed eyes while listening me to say Don’t worry dad we’ll be okay. Micah hope you and my dad get on well together. You crazy guy, I always wanted dad to approve of the man his little married. Never thought you fly through that windshield and slide into home plate on the other side.

Tall brown-eyed mechanic adrenaline junkie hello sir, I’d like to give your daughter my last-name. Meanwhile back home wiping tears of joy and pain away while holding one of my new nephews. Hey little man your papa sonny sure thinks the world of you. Dad I’m looking forward to taking Kailon to river where you taught us to fish.

Someday many years from now I won’t breakdown at the thought of you not being on the other side of the door. For now dad you’re little girl still struggling to be okay with our sudden goodbyes. Micah I love you but damn it you promised you wear your seat belt. I love you guys thanks for seeing me home. In all honesty though home just isn’t the same anymore and that’s tearin’ me up inside.

“The night stepped out” #poem #poetry #verse — johncoyote

Originally posted on Visionary Poems: The night stepped out Like a prima ballerina From the monumental shadows That reached the very heavens Concealed awhile Behind the great mountains of granite grey That separated the tranquil realm From the world outside  And now ’twas the hour of nighttide When the darkness covered the benign pastoral scene With a canopy of star studded indigo fashioned And…

“The night stepped out” #poem #poetry #verse — johncoyote

Brave

Leo stirs eyes unopened yet flickering,
nurses glide in and out of the room.
Brave Boy…Fighter…One in a million,
Ventilator keeps the beat of hope alive.


Prognosis is grim,
Prognosis is known yet unknown.
Dad stands watch they all take shifts,
I’ve not slept through the night since.

Leo must know that ventilator sound haunt me
auntie watches while he’s extubated in that moment
The shadow people have faces no longer able to haunt

Prognosis is hopeful,
Prognosis is known yet unknown.
Leo thanks for helping me face my fears,
I no longer fear the silent nights.

Warrior Heart

7:30 A.M.

The Priest Prays over Leo just in case.
his mother whispers sleep well don’t be scared.
Dad, please help guide the surgeons hands today.

Soldiers in scrubs come to escort Leo to the O.R.
Micah, please watch over Leo with my Dad.
If eternity should become his home promise me this:
Promise to take Leo on adrenaline filled adventures.

Above all please keep him company til we can be together.
Leo these next few hours and days will test your Warrior Heart.
Today 3 chambers become 4 and beyond this your childhood awaits.

For now rest our dear Lakota boy you’re in safe hands.
Someday this battle will be a distant memory
Time seems to stop in a hospital I swear
A nurse walks in Leo’s in Recovery he did great!

Thank you, Creator, Dad and Uncle Micah
Love always Leo
Our little fighter is one in a million that’s for sure.

Leo Gracious

7 weeks early with a heart of 3 chambers instead of 4,
a unique drum beat for our dear Lakota Boy.
Beloved Son, Brother, Nephew, fight on!
if you’d rather go into eternity hug your Papa for me.
Dad he’s got your nose and my fighting spirit,
30 years ago you whispered live my girl.
Alarms, IV’s followed by a baptism just in case,
Leo’s mother prays for just a little more time.
Through tears she begs me to help her somehow,
Sister there are no easy answers just love him.
She puts the phone next to him while we pray,
Leo Gracious you are loved beyond comprehension.
Creator thank you for everything and what may yet be.
My little sister Leo will always be your boy no matter what.

You

Honey,

Grief has left me gasping for air once again. Your best friend and I shared our memories of you. The many adventures you had in the Glamis Sand dunes. How you gave to those in need because “It’s only Money” Carefully nurturing all your friendships and sharing your faith unashamedly. Indeed you’re a man that I believe my father always prayed I’d find. Please tell him and Mom Toni hello from me. It brings me great comfort to think of you all getting together over coffee in that other world. Some nights I swear I hear you say my name or see you in the doorway of my home office. That cheeky smile along with that stubble you refused to part with. Tears and Time a double edged sword that’s what grief is in my book. If only I could pull you from those photos on my wall. Maybe the night’s wouldn’t be so painfully lonely. Your favorite Glamis hoodie has lost your scent. It was like you died a scond time. Honey I’m doing my best but, this is SO hard.

I love you, I love you, I love you, Goodnight.

A Brief Encounter

It’s incredible to think what we discovered on the other other side of “So what do you think..?” So many conversations both humorous and serious. A life time of love in nearly 7 months. memories that take me back to the time I met the love of my life. Oh how cliche you’ve made me sound.

Night comes and I hold onto your pillow praying that come morning I’ll wake in eternity. Dad will take me find you. In your dream garage working on an off-road vehicle headed for Glamis. A long embrace that will melt the decades into mere seconds.

My love, My light See you tomorrow sometime.
I’m going to try my hand at enjoying this new life, I love you.